Eco Mama
This morning, I wake groggy at 4 AM after a late night of work, and a restless sleep. Fearing my dog, who was gasping for breath all night, has finally succumbed to the lung cancer that he’s suffered from for 10 months. My husband away on business. What would I tell the kids who love him like a big brother? How would I get his 70 pound body down the stairs? Is the ground too frozen for burial? Afraid to look I'm relieved to find his soul still embodied, his heart still beating, his tail still wagging to my touch. Lone adult "on" this AM, I race through the morning rituals. Kids get dressed! Kids make your beds! Don't talk, EAT! Clear your places! Snow pants on! Don't forget your backpacks! Let's go, let's go, let's go, we can't miss the bus! Flying up the hill just in time -- Jane, our bus driver, is more punctual than the Swiss trains. I finally exhale as I wave my twins on to Kindergarten. A moment to myself. I decide that since I worked til 11 PM, I'm justified to arrive late to the office this morning. After several days of freezing rain, it is a magical full sun morning, the kind you need your shades for, the light reflecting off the snow is so blinding. I will take myself for a snowshoe down to the river, as the late winter snow melt and excessive rains have the brook Roaring. I've been a little low energy, a little cranky, a little fatigued by the working momma pace. And my instinct is that if I get to that water surrounded by woods this crystal morning, I will find some healing. Strap on my snow shoes and head first up the hill to the sun, then across the blinding white field, and finally down through the woods to the water. My trusty old almost-dead lab trailing behind, tail wagging. Descending fast sliding over icy snow, I finally hit the river bed. And am awestruck. Sun flickering on crystal clear rushing waters. Light beams streaming through trees. The primal sound of water flowing over rock. Bring tears of joy and release to my eyes. This morning, this moment, a gift of healing. If we only knew the Sacred in all things we could no longer destroy, but only bow in reverence to the beauty that is creation.
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